16th Sunday after Pentecost
September 4, 2005
Matthew 18:15-20

Save Your Brother!

  Think about the last time someone did you wrong. Were you able to establish that you were right and he or she was wrong? How’s the relationship between you now?

  I confess that when someone does me wrong, my first reaction is anger. And I usually feel right to be angry because he did me wrong! That anger then feeds a desire to avenge myself. I want everyone else to know that I was right and he was wrong. Perhaps later I will think about fixing the relationship between us. But of course, that has now been complicated by the way I reacted and avenged myself. The gulf between us is now probably greater than ever. I may have proven myself right, but I may also have lost a friend.

  As we live in Christ’s kingdom of grace as members of the Church on earth waiting for his kingdom of glory and to be part of the glorious company of heaven, we will offend each other. Fortunately, Jesus said a great deal about forgiving each other. Of special note is the passage we just read in our Gospel reading. We often put a reference to this passage in church constitutions indicating that this is the procedure we will use to adjudicate differences and administer church discipline. However, we often misuse these instructions as a sort of legal procedure. Like lawyers on a TV show, we determine who was right and who was wrong and then we prescribe some sort of punishment or restitution and move on. Yet, perhaps more often than not, the relationship between the two brothers or sisters is permanently damaged. They avoid each other, maybe even go to a different church. We may have determined guilt and innocence, but we failed to reconcile the two people.

  If that is what we do, then we have missed the mark! We have become legalists who have lost the Gospel. For Jesus is primarily concerned with reconciliation and only secondarily with what we call church discipline.

  Matthew chapter 18 opens with a question from the disciples, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Jesus then called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

  Jesus then addresses two very important issues that go straight to the heart of being humble like little children and thus great in the kingdom of heaven. First, he gives a very stern warning about scandalizing one of these little ones, that is, doing anything that would cause one of them to loose faith in him. We must not offend and sin against others. This is so serious that he says that if you do scandalize another person, it would be better for you if the Mafia got a hold of you, made you a lead suit and dumped you in the river. Well actually he said, If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Then he makes those shocking statements about cutting off your hand or foot, or plucking out your eye if they make you sin and loose your faith. It’s better to make it to heaven handicapped than to go to hell! For your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

  But of course, we do sin against each other and tragically, we sometimes cause others to loose their faith. So Jesus also addresses the other side of the coin and tells us what to do when someone sins against us. If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

  When a brother, i.e., another believer, has sinned against you, you must go to him, alone.

  I read a story about a pastor who woke up one beautiful, summer Sunday morning. He decided it was such a great day that he called in sick, grabbed his golf clubs and snuck out to a golf course. A couple angels were watching over him. The senior angel intervened so that the pastor had the best round of golf in his life. He got several hole-in-ones and set a course record. The junior angel asked him why he had done this. "The pastor lied and deceived, why bless him?" The senior angel replied, "Who’s he going to tell?"

  You see, that’s why you must go alone. Now one else will know so it won’t be an occasion for you to exalt yourself. What matters is not that you were right and he was wrong. No one needs to see that. What matters is that he repent, you forgive, and the two of you be reconciled. The goal is the salvation of your brother and the restoration of the relationship between you and him. That’s what Jesus means when he says, If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. Winning your brother over means that you have gained your brother, recovered him, or spared him from loss.

  Once more we see the love of God for fallen humanity. Over and over the Word of God tells us that he seeks not a harsh, legal environment for his people, but one of peace. In our Old Testament reading God commanded Ezekiel to warn the wicked of their impending doom. Just after he tells us why. As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, O house of Israel? (Ezekiel 33:11).

  Jesus said, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. (John 3:16-17). And here, If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. Jesus’ concern and goal is not to establish that you or I are right in some argument. His concern is to save people from eternal judgment for sin. He wants people to repent and be reconciled and remain in his kingdom. That is the Gospel, the good news!

  Yet our sinful nature rears its ugly head when we must confront a brother with his sin. Often our only goal is to prove ourselves right and see him punished. Reconciliation is out of the question. Instead we have a sinful craving for power and superiority even at the expense of loosing a friend and brother in the faith. At other times, we simply cannot forgive. We feel that the offence is too great and is unforgivable. Maybe you were cheated and publicly humiliated. Maybe a friend betrayed you or your spouse was unfaithful.

  Whatever the reason, we have now fallen into sin. Our anger has gotten the better of us. We value our pride or reputation more than the salvation of this brother and our relationship with him. We must confess our sin, our lack of love for our brother and ask forgiveness for ourselves! Then we must do as Jesus says. We must go to the brother privately and discuss the matter. Don’t go to read him the riot act and give him an ultimatum. Go with the purpose and intent to reconcile, to restore and preserve that relationship.

  National Geographic once reported on a park ranger in British Columbia who two sets of huge moose antlers locked together. Evidently two bull moose began fighting, their antlers locked, and they could not get free. They died from the conflict. That is the kind of thing God would spare his people by commanding them to confront sin with the intent to reconcile not to beat each other up!

  To reconcile, we must repent and forgive. Repentance isn’t a sheepish admission that you got caught. It’s being truly sorry for the offence recognizing that it destroys two relationships, the one between you and the other person and the one between you and God. Then, truly sorry for your sin, you turn to your brother, point to Jesus on the cross and say, "There Jesus paid for my offence. Forgive me for his sake!"

  We must also forgive. That doesn’t mean to store away a memory for future reference, to drag up and use again the next time something doesn’t go your way. It means to give away the offence, to get rid of it and relinquish any claim upon it. To whom do we give it? To Jesus of course! We give the sin, the anger and everything else to him. He has already suffered for it. I know this sounds strange, but you can look to Jesus on the cross and be angry at him, for there he took the sin of this other person upon himself and suffered for him. Then you look back at the other person and see one who has been freed from that offence and renewed by the Holy Spirit. Only when we repent and forgive in this manner can we be reconciled.

  Surely once in your life you have reconciled with a friend. In all probability you had a stronger relationship afterward. You knew you could trust each other more than before. Wasn’t that better than ending the relationship and going away angry at each other? Who needs an enemy? Who needs a source of anger, resentment, hate and deadly stress? You don’t!

  Confrontation and reconciliation are not easy. Our sinful nature would rather fight and destroy than repent and forgive. So it is inevitable that some whom we confront will not repent. We need a plan B. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that "every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses." If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

  In modern terms that means to label the guy an unbeliever and kick him out of the church. We may not pretend everything is all right or simply turn a blind eye. A sinner who refuses to repent is like gangrene. You must cut off the dead flesh or the disease will spread and kill the rest of the body. It’s drastic, but necessary for the salvation of others.

  This discipline too is a command of God. We have the assurance that God will administer justice. The impenitent will not just get away with another offence, another insult. Granted, this is a poor substitute for reconciliation. That’s why Jesus came to seek and to save, to reconcile rather than to condemn. God wants all to be reconciled to him and to each other, but people can refuse. In that case, we have to leave it in God’s hands. He will impose the judgement that he really wants to avoid.

  I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. That is how Jesus summed up his teaching on this subject. We call this the Office of the Keys. It is so fundamental to the Christian faith that it is one of the six parts of the Small Catechism. Jesus gives his Church the command and authority to act on his behalf. What we forgive each other--what we loose on earth--God forgives in heaven! But so that we do not take sin lightly, so that we do not despise or neglect reconciliation, he commands us to tell whomever refuses to repent, that his sin remains--it is bound--both on earth and in heaven.

  One more thing. Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. In our work of reconciliation and of discipline, of forgiving and retaining sins, Christ is present. Not only do we act at his command and by his authority, but through his spirit he is present among us. We are to take courage and comfort from this. We are his body. He will cause all things to work out for our good and salvation.

  So, If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.